Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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