I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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