Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
