return my video game
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
