u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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