saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize