Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.