What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.