please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.