Are we in a gay sports bar?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.