if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
