Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
