Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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