I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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