Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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