I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize