let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.