He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal