Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
