last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize