ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad