She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
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I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.