last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy