He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC