oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me