considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
