as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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