Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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