Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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