Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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