so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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