Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize