We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
