check it out our google latitudes are spooning
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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