K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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