We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
