Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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