you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
