i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize