There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just high enough for therapy.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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