you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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