I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
