there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He is an equal opportunity slut.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
