omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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