so that wasnt chicken after all
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican