I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.