How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.