I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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And the cops told us we were all naked.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
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Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.