Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
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i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties