i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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