you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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