Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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