I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.