I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!