Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"

(678): View more from Georgia

So... What happend then?

(404): View more from Georgia

We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.

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(404): She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating" (678): So... What happend then? (404): We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM. http://tfl.nu/3t62

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(907): View more from Alaska

everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.

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(907): everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort. http://tfl.nu/2zhz

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister

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(973): I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister http://tfl.nu/i2jt

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(705): View more from Ontario

I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.

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(705): I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there. http://tfl.nu/latd

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.

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(724): Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips. http://tfl.nu/myh4

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(631): View more from New York

After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.

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(631): After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/pq89

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

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(203): I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too http://tfl.nu/f6yj

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.

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(724): I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out. http://tfl.nu/ua1b

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(310): View more from California

Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart

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(310): Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart http://tfl.nu/wp92

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(469): View more from Texas

I can feel my moral fiber fraying.

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(469): I can feel my moral fiber fraying. http://tfl.nu/8494

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.

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(508): You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up. http://tfl.nu/f7oz

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(217): View more from Illinois

It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties

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(217): It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties http://tfl.nu/jqe8

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.

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(202): I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school. http://tfl.nu/85a4

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(972): View more from Texas

Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?

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(972): Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney? http://tfl.nu/omqz

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(818): View more from California

I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one

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(818): I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one http://tfl.nu/v2xa

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