question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
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he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
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she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face