what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
