Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize