My brain says no but my pants say off.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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