I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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