Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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