I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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