Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.