he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
