What did we do last night that was yellow?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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